Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
These tits shall not be calmed
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
