I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Found your dick twin last night
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
