So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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