You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
