I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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