yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
