Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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