'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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