May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
