she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I want a musical about memes.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
