i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
