we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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