Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
