When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
barbara walters just said penis...
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
how do flat chested girls get laid?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
