Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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