I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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