she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
