I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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