she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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