so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
