i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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