So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
