i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
