So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
