At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
