I need help removing her.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
