Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
