So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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