Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
this boner is exhausting
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
