she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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