Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
