i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
