This girl is more easily done than said...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
