There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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