Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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