i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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