and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
