...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
