i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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