I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
