Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Do vagina's smell?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
