Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
