absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
