Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
