What a fucking waste of an outfit
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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