are you still at the devil's house?
He kissed a someone with a penis
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
