I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
