We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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