I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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