But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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