It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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