butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I want to fling myself into the sun
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
